Full Circle

These circular, spiraling life patterns I make are like a staircase climbing upwards to enlightment. Landings and doorways leading off into uncharted territories. Sometimes the doorways open up into a chasm, dropping down into God knows what.

There were times when the curiosity of what lay beneath my feet, in that darkness was too great a temptation to resist. I would descend into the darkness only to find myself climbing back out again - cut, bruised and bleeding. My eyes red and swollen from beatings I would endure or crying from the physical or emotional pain. Of course none if it was real. In my mind it was, but these darkened doorways and passages only let to illusion. When I woke to this, I realized I had never descended into that darkness. I had been standing there the entire time; creating my own person hell - as though it were a funhouse mirror I had been viewing the hidden recesses of my Ego mind in.

I think you know this spiral staircase I speak of. I've seen you there. Sometimes I pass you on my way up, other times you pass me, or sometimes we ascend together. Do you remember the smells of the old plaster walls, and the aged wooden railing? What about the sound of our feet on the marble steps, or the breeze that washes down over our face and plays with our hair like fairies? The freshness of it, like early morning of a summer day pregnant with possibilities and Nature's song inviting us to join in it's festival of vitality and diversity. The wooden railing is soft and worn in spots from where others have held tight to pull themselves up to take respite on landing or step before continuing on.

Some times it seems as though years will pass before I fully come round to the where I had been last, looking down at my progress. Wondering ". . . do I indulge in my times spent in front of the mirrors, or do I acknowledge it for what it was, congratulate myself for a lesson learned and my choice to continue? . . ."

I think I'll congratulate myself, thank you.